Signs of red flags dating someone chauvet cave dating
If you are dating someone who discloses a history of addiction or a major psych medical disorder, adherance to treatment and medication should be required and going off the medication should be a deal breaker.The person is highly responsible, but only because he (or she) was from a dysfunctional family and was groomed to be Family Rescuer/Strong Person.As one very wise woman put it, "Unfortunately, most men never left the tit." Some people, however, are worse than others, and in the true spirit of HBI, we have created our "Red Flag List" - things to watch out for, and turn and walk (quickly) away from - no matter HOW deeply involved you are in the relationship.
We are socialized to believe that if we help them, take care of them, give up our own needs for theirs, they will "take care" of us. Of course, men are just as vulnerable- they often marry women they barely know, feeling that they have to be "mature" and "grown up" and then end up miserable because they're stuck with someone they have nothing in common with.
Or they play "rescuer" and take up with women who are little, fragile dolls who need to be 'taken care of' and they say things like "She needs me, she's so fragile. The sad thing is, that the men/women who CAN change, do it on their own. They take time off from relationships, and work on their relationship with themselves.
The can demonstrate REAL work and real change, rather than platitudes.
It does indeed happen that someone can be an asshole in private will conceal this behind a public facade and do lots of good away from home as a renowned therapist, a much loved social justice activist, or as a charismatic and saintly spiritual leader.
Being partnered with a Jekyll/Hyde type who is a saint in public and a schmuck in private is a nightmare because no one wants to believe that such an altruist could possibly be abusive in private.